


We'll Be (Not) Okay

by problematiquefave



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 17:51:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14753502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/problematiquefave/pseuds/problematiquefave
Summary: It wasn't supposed to happen like this. They were supposed to be happy. But when tragedy strikes, it's Nick and Troy that must deal with what it means.





	We'll Be (Not) Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: “I lost the baby.” (Additional request: 'Mpreg? Work for you? Lol')
> 
> Still accepting prompts from [this list](https://problematiquefics.tumblr.com/post/174214754550/nearly-200-writing-prompts-feel-free-to-reblog) on my [tumblr](https://problematiquefics.tumblr.com/). Comments are greatly appreciated.

He doesn’t even realize what the cramping means until he sees blood. It’s on the sheets when he wakes up in the morning, soaking into them. Staining them.

No.

 _No_.

He’s so lost in his horror that he doesn’t even realize he’s screamed until Alicia is bursting into the room with a frying pan and a wild-eyed expression, demanding to know what’s going on. All he can do is stare at the red blotches on his sheets and wait. Wait until Alicia gets the doctor. Wait until Nick gets home.

 

 

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. They were supposed to be _happy_. Troy was terrified when he found out he was carrying – never in his life having wanted that but Nick... Oh Nick. The younger man had been downright gleeful when Troy told him and it was infectious. Troy had never seem himself as a father but, with Nick, it was a reality he was slowly growing to accept – and slowly, day by day, that he was looking forward too.

And then…

Nick had gone with Madison to the dam to refill the water tanker. It had become a routine trip for the ranch these past few months, all sorts of people going on them. The trip before had been Ofelia and Jake and the one before that had been Strand and Walker. It would be three days and they’d be back. Life wouldn’t stop and no tragedy would strike. But of course, fate is never so kind.

It’s the night after Nick leaves that the hemorrhaging begins and it’s not until morning that Troy notices it. Zola, the doctor, examines him but it’s too late. He loses the baby and spends the rest of the day in the bathroom crying and bleeding. Afterwards, he’s so exhausted that he falls asleep while changing the sheets – crashing on the bare mattress, waking at dawn.

Alicia dances around him. She rarely sleeps at the big house anymore, preferring to stay with Jake even though they say they’re not living together. She stays though, keeping him company even when the silence between them is painfully awkward. There is little affection between the two of them and even less they have in common but Troy is Nick’s partner and Alicia is Jake’s so that sort of makes that family and, in times like these, family sticks together.

Still, a part of him is grateful to see her back. Another part is not because her retreating back means that Nick has returned. And talking to Nick… Talking to Nick is the last thing he wants to do.

But he has too.

Troy waits in their room, fiddling his hands in his lap as he sits on the edge of the bed, waiting for Nick to come up here. He’s not sure how long passes but eventually he hears pounding footsteps on the staircase and the door swings up with a squeaking protest. He looks up at Nick and sees his expression. He knows, Troy can tell, but he puts it to words anyways.

“I lost the baby.”

Nick shakes his head as he crosses the floor to kneel in front of Troy. “Don’t say that,” he says and Troy swallows. He opens his mouth again to repeat it but Nick cuts him off. “I know, I know, but don’t say that. This isn’t your fault.”

And it isn’t. Troy’s knows this – it’s nature. Miscarriages aren’t uncommon. He used to read biology textbooks for fun despite having never attended a day of high school. Or middle school, for that matter. He knows more about this than a lot of people and he’s used that knowledge for some terrible things but this isn’t one of them. This time he uses that knowledge to comfort himself, even if it does little.

“I know,” he says as Nick grabs his hands, clasping them in his. “I know, but you were so excited.”

“I was,” he admits, “but it doesn’t matter. We can try again or we don’t have too. All that matters to me is you. Everything will be okay.”

 “We’ll be okay,” he tells Nick.

And no, they won’t be. Things are never okay in this world and things have never been okay between them. Their first meeting was when Troy tried to kill him for science for crying out loud. However, they can still be not-okay together.

A small grin tugs at Troy’s lips before he leans into kiss Nick.

They’ll be not-okay together.


End file.
